I can’t speak from memory (it was a while ago), but I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be two years old. My son, James, turned two in December last year, and seems to be growing more mature by the week. James has just learned to create two- and three-word sentences. “No I not” is on the top of the list of his favorites. Knowing that he now has a choice in doing activities, though, makes it very tough for mom. Bath time? “No, I not.” Time to interrupt trains and go to the doctor? “No, I not.” Bed time? You guessed it!
As a parent, the most important thing is to remember that your once-helpless infant is now becoming an independent individual. Instead of insisting he participate in activities, try to imagine where your toddler is coming from. Why is he frustrated? For example, if he doesn’t want to put on his shoes, stop forcing them on his feet. Maybe he wanted to wear his camouflage boots instead. Is it really worth the fight?
One great piece of advice, which I’m sure we have all heard about dealing with terrible twos, is giving a child a routine. They need a regular routine that they can count on every day. The routine will help when life becomes hectic. He can count on eating at a certain time, he will be ready for nap or bed at a certain time. Routines help children feel safe.
But what if your child is throwing a tantrum while outdoors? One way is to remove the child from the public. If you are shopping at Walmart, or Target, or anywhere, and the child is having a tantrum, leave the cart (or leave it with your spouse if they are with you) and take the child outside. Get some fresh air, let them calm down. Once the child calms down, talk to him and discuss what happened. Talk about the behavior and why it was unacceptable.
No matter what, be consistent. No matter what is going on, no matter where you are, be consistent with the discipline and routine. While every situation you encounter with your child will be unique, the child needs to know that there will be a consequence for the tantrum. This will (hopefully) lead to less tantrums if they know what will happen or be taken away for throwing one.
The most important thing is to somehow make it through these terrible twos with the least amount of collateral damage. Keep your sanity and avoid squelching your toddler’s spirit. And above all, pace yourself – because the next phase will bring its own set of surprises!
